I don’t like being 51 because of the way my body looks now. Other than that, I could take it. The wisdom, the learning that if you give things time, grown and change inside, do the work, the environment will rise up to greet you – hey! I’m so glad you decided not to give up! Let’s try to be happy! Look, the sun is shining. Look, there’s a flower blooming in the yard. Believing that things get better could have stopped me from living through ten years of debilitating depression. But the crepe paper skin, faint orgasms, dry vagina, chin hairs that grow every hour….are no trade-in for wisdom. 51 is hard to do with grace.